Crossroads

Earlier this week results from the MA were released. I am pleased to share that I have officially graduated from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and Birkbeck, University of London, with a grade of Distinction! For anyone who follows the blog, the past year has been a rollercoaster ride of massive proportions. Loads of work, so much creation and exploration, and unbelievable experiences, all of which have culminated in this final grade. Reflecting now, I always knew this year would be huge, however even my enormous expectations were surpassed. 

And as the title suggests, I'm at a crossroads - exiting student life (again) and emerging into the creative world unsheltered by school and supportive tutors. My first true foray will be Dear Mama, which opens on 17 January at Studio 320. Nothing like diving in head first! Writing is nearly complete, anything more will be explorations in the studio, and rehearsals begin in earnest tomorrow. 

Will do my best to blog on the rehearsal process. This will be the first time my creation will be directed by someone else, and I am extremely excited at the prospect of having someone else's creative input on my work. If I've learned anything in the past year, it is that collaboration is at the heart of all truly interesting work - our inspiration comes from the people and world around us, so deny nothing. 

More soon!

Perhaps I am odd

Still mentally reeling from the aftermath of 10 weeks intensely studying Jean Genet's work. I think it is the mark of a truly great writer that the further you get from the work, the more it seems to pop up in you, resonating across various areas of your life. One thing that is really interesting to me is the fascination many of my colleagues have had with Genet's own disregard for his writing, particularly his plays. He himself refers to them as "clumsy attempts", which many have voiced is frustrating, or difficult to encounter.

Perhaps I am odd. Somehow, in the midst of a world of people with limited talent taking themselves entirely too seriously, and even those with immense talent forcing a specific understanding of their work on others (The Beckett Police, anyone??) I find it refreshing to come across a writer who has had such immense influence, and yet disregards his own work in this way. It is important to note that he doesn't call out his work or tear it down, he simply acknowledges, with what I would argue is some modesty, that all we ever do is try. We never know all of the answers in our own work, or in how others will interpret it, and I find it rather inspiring that a man of such greatness can allow his work to be viewed with such simplicity. Certainly a lesson everyone can take from Genet, whether you like his work or not.

Choice

It has now been nearly 4 weeks of the MA. The time has just flown by, I can't even conceive of what I've managed to do already. Directed a scene from Duchess, performed in a scene, created a presentation, read a mountain of plays (some required, some chosen). Agreed, disagreed, viewed 3 performances (two for school), had to turn down 2 amazing experiences (Marat/Sade, and Ralph Fiennes masterclass). Been amazed by the skill and talent around me, both in tutors and fellow students.

What is really resonating with me is the theme of choice. In the characters, in myself, in those around me. We were debating a bit yesterday about who the main character is in the Duchess of Malfi, and the role of the duchesss in the story. Are we meant to feel sorry for her? I don't necessarily thing we are to feel sorry for her, but I do think that the play as a whole hinges on her making a choice. Another student debated with me that she is selfish and doesn't think of the impact her choice to marry/have kids will have on others.....I'm not sure I agree on that being the case. She chooses not the specific act of marriage/kids against her brothers' will; she chooses power. Power over her own life, and those directly related. And what we see is the consequence of someone choosing power; ultimately her downfall. I don't see the Duchess' situation as necessarily female - even a man, choosing power (Macbeth anyone?) will suffer a downfall. For me, this is the tragedy in the play. Of course there are hundreds of other perspectives, social norms, etc, that play in to the situation, why her choice causes these events...but again it all comes back to choosing power.

The other major topic of choice for me is selecting the play on which I will write my dissertation. Somehow this feels like the most significant choice of my academic life; what if I choose poorly? What if the play I select doesn't align with my ideas about theatre any longer by January or February...what then?? Realistically I don't see this changing too much, but the idea of making such a significant choice, standing up for this....is rather frightening.

Overall, I am feeling good in the course; there are always moments that bother me, but surprisingly they have been on the academic side more so than on the practical side of the course. This is surprising, as generally one thinks that the subjective artistic side will be where disagreements form. Instead, I feel like each day, each tutor seems to re-affirm a thought or inclination I have had about creating work, approaching the work. Conversely the academic side sometimes bristles against my sensibilities; I keep wanting to yell out to challenge the reduction of theatre to a series of symbols, influenced and informed only by what the audience brings to the theatre. Shouldn't good work allow audience members to interact on all levels? Whether "well-read" or not at all....whether they come with a lot of theatrical viewing experience or not. This was really getting to me, so I have been reading in full the argument for phenomenology in the theatre in the States text. I am hoping that positioning the idea in the full argument will help me better understand, for right now it is feeling reductionist, and making me angry.

I should clarify the image as well - for me, this close up looks like someone reflecting on choice, how to proceed, what comes next. There is a mixture of despair and hope.

image: Edvard Munch - The Sick Child